Why do people marry late? The one thing that guarantees early marriage.

I asked Him, What is the cause of late marriages? If we want early marriage, what should we do?

Then He said to me, the failure to give the right response at the appropriate time to “Desire” is the root cause of late marriages.

Then I asked again, What then is “Desire”, and the right response to it?

Disclaimer: This will resonate with you. Oh yes, because it was written for you, friend!

 

Most have scripted in their thoughts a tale of love beyond even the wildest imagination of Solomon in Songs of Songs. Cinderella was found by a glass shoe; we are hoping to be found by the broken half of the unicorn’s horn or by that accidental bump into that girl in the coffee shop.

If you understand this, you will realize that time and chance (circumstance or luck) shouldn’t determine when you marry, as the case is for many. You have more power than you think.

Many agree the choice of a marital partner is the most important decision of a person’s life, yet we are not taught how to make one. This is your step in the right direction.

 

THE CHANGING OF TIMES AND ITS IMPACT ON MARRIAGE.

According to global statistics, the average age for married couples in the 1960s through the 80s was between 23-25 for males, and 21-23 for females. By 2009, that average had risen to 29 for males and 27 for females. I do not even want to scare you by the most recent statistics. You might want to take a quick mental scan of your circle and confirm this.

A significant percentage of men still push this decision into their late thirties and early forties, due to a plethora of reasons. It is believed that the one primary factor for this shift is the economic climate of the world globally. It’s now been proven for a fact that there is a major correlation between economic comfort and the time an individual considers marriage.

Times truly do change; a text in the Christian Bible reads, “That which has been is what will be, that which is done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.” The evolution of time is therefore simply a cycle.

We are sure economic comfort was a central basis of early marriage in the past. Now that the cycle of economies is changing back for better income, why then is the average age for married couples still increasing rather than contracting back to its original average? Actually, it won’t!

When times change and civilization evolves, we adopt new ways and methods, resulting in the formation of fresh ideals that redefines acceptable standards.  Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “A man's mind, when stretched with a new idea, can never go back to its original dimensions.”

The central question before us then is, “Was the generation before us right or we are?” The conflict between parents and daughters especially is simply because, respectfully, a generation of mothers view and believe life still wheels by the ideals and standards of their generation.

 

IS LATE MARRIAGE A THING? 

Absolute Yes! How does it come about?

The ideal time for marriage is not generic; it is no fixed law applicable to all. It is a custom-made time clock unique to the path of each individual.

The ideal time to marry is defined by desire. I define desire as the unquenchable affection and emotion of an intrinsic appetite. We won’t all arrive at desire at the same time, but internally when we get there, we will know. Life is that simple.

Desire is a flame you can’t quench, no matter how hard you try. Solomon documenting his intoxication, remarked, “love is stronger than death”. At desire we feel the emotion of a dissatisfaction with being single, not merely because we are lonely but because now we want to share our life.

I call desire the junction of making a decision. When “Desire” is awake, it is time to “act”. The response is what separates who marries late and who does early.

Desire not acted upon in proper time or responded to wrongly is the root cause of late marriages. 

Oh, I caught you right there. You assumed “act”  is to get into a relationship! No! Believe me, if your first response to desire is to find a partner, you’ll get married late, and that is a fact.

Some have theorized that “breakfast” is inevitable, but that’s not true. Marriage and relationship are the oldest institution and form of human relationships; there’s many references to draw from.

The right “act” in response to desire is to commence learning, not find a girlfriend. Learning is the process you subject yourself to to become a thing. True knowledge is one with you; it makes you into the object desired.

The reason for the failure in romantic relationships is the deficit in learning.

If we are true to ourselves, times after we breakup and mature more, we realize we should have done better by our partners. Why? We have increased in learning. We need to reverse to this appropriate order. Learning first before commitment.

Do you want to get married early? Act on what I just told you, and now you know what that means.

I look forward to sharing my next notes with you when we will fully examine what the process of learning should be like.

I’ll love to read your thoughts too about this in the comments.